April 2011
fucking braindead
I’m watching Bob’s Burgers for the rest of the night. NO EXCUSES.
seize the day,
believe as little as possible in tomorrow
Dear Coke Talk: On seizing the day. →
dearcoketalk:
Dear Coquette,
I’m scared of dying. I think about it every day, several times a day. I’ve had several people close to me pass away and ever since I’ve been ruminating about how life is so temporary, and how we are so little and insignificant, and every moment I’m away from the people I…
"this is why I'll never be an adult" →
WatchI was a teen once.
“the recluse” cursive.
Does it ever just knock the wind
drinkyourjuice:
out of you how fucking happy you are to be breathing air and speaking words and thinking thoughts and loving the humans you love and growing on a fucking planet full of other humans you’re yet to meet with the potential energy to do all of the things you set your dumb brain to?
Are you ever just honored to be a slinky snake so tightly coiled at the bottom of a trick can?
after math
I’m still turning numbers in my mouth
what I like most in the world
(when I’m drunk)
a. men
b. violence
c. the idea of being Simone Horst for a day or two
An actual conversation between two 28-year-old men...
Guy 1: She had to go, man. Had. to. go.
Guy 2: Yeah, it was time.
Guy 1: And she's mad at me about it. Like, coming to me trying to talk to me about it because she's upset or some shit, and I'm like, "Nah, this is done. We're done."
Guy 2: Sometimes you gotta do that. Be firm.
Guy 1: It's like, I have six Pokeballs, ya know what I mean? I got six Pokeballs and there's 150 Pokemon out there. I'm not gonna hang on to my PIDGEY, ya know what I'm sayin? I'm not gonna hang on to my Ratata.
Guy 2: Exactly.
Guy 1: She's on some Professor Oak shit. I'm tryin to be the best.
Guy 2: Even Pikachu had to go eventually, n*gga. You did the right thing.
there are days when I'm in love with life.
DON'T EVER
take a 5 hour energy shot after drinking twelve shots of espresso. It will bring all possible latent psychological disorders bubbling to the surface. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.
“I DUN CARE KET THEM SEE ME POOP MA PANTS IM GRADUTAIING”
– 24 hours without sleep
“LIQUID CRACK ACID IT IS LIQUID CRACK ACID BOTTLED PSYCHOSIS CRACK”
– Me, my 5 hour energy shot, and my descent into madness <3
“We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All...”
– Start Where You Are
note to self: organizing papers
in a folder will do great things for your life.
apparently
I’ve come up with like a hundred (read: eight to fourteen) decent music/story/poem ideas over the last month or so. they were hidden deep inside the uterus of my phone (dark and fruitful womb, what up) and I had no idea until last night (read: I was probably drunk at the time of composition).
the life of an ~ eNgLiSh MaJoR ~
Friend: You wanna be some guy’s side-cake?
Me: No, I told him I don’t play like that. Only I said it in a stuck up way because I’m reading Jamaica Kincaid right now.
Friend: Nice.
Jesus is the One True Belieber
“Any woman who looks like Justin Bieber, who dresses like Justin Bieber, is probably a lesbian and therefore going to hell”
—Crazy man proselytizing on campus
For Virginia Tech's wounded: Triumph after tragedy →
Tragedy is where this story opens - its first lines written on a cold spring morning four years ago. The 17 students who survived the Virginia Tech massacre refuse to let it end there.
One by one, over time, all who were shot that day and lived found the courage to return to the college where they almost died. On crutches, or in wheelchairs, or with bullets still buried in their young bodies,...
How to Use a Treadmill, A Ladies' Guide:
drinkyourjuice:
Start running.
This isn’t so bad, now is it?
Look at you, it’s been 30 minutes. You’re a pro.
Kick it up two notches.
Woo-eee, lady! Somebody better call the damnbulance because you’re on fire.
Okay, I’m really bored.
I think my foot is falling asleep.
Can’t quit yet. Let’s play a game.
I bet I can close my eyes for ten seconds and run in place perfectly.
Aaaand now...
NEEDA GO ABCK TO TYEP 2 LEANR
my cousin's statuses make her sound like a whore:
“At Vicki house having sooo much fun…. I am staying VERY late …… TEXT ME … love ya all <3333”
She’s eleven.
one time
I accidentally ate trash juice.
watching Scamper the Penguin as an adult,...
I don’t remember Scamper sounding that creepy.
It’s probably a middle-aged man or some weird lady doing that voice, just some lonely failed aspiring screen actor turned obscure animated family film voice actor.
I wonder if that person ever accidentally slipped into that voice at a really inappropriate time. like a funeral or work situation unrelated to voice acting. or...
“I just wish I had the balls to tell him. Or at least the social skills to...”
– diary of mad awkward woman (I am it her the thing, that)
“I was familiar with the little mating rituals of getting to know each other, of...”
– Nicole Krauss, “Great House” (via drinkyourjuice) 